What If I Never
Table of Contents
PLAYLIST
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
CHAPTER FORTY
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
CHAPTER FIFTY
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
CHAPTER SIXTY
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN
THE ADRIAN TRILOGY
THE BRILLIANCE TRILOGY
THE LILAH LOVE SERIES
ALSO BY LISA RENEE JONES
ABOUT LISA RENEE JONES
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All characters in this book are fictional and figments of the author’s imagination. www.lisareneejones.com.
What if I Never?
Lisa Renee Jones
Book one in the Necklace Trilogy
PLAYLIST
“Girl Like You” by Jason Aldean
“Live Like You’re Dying” by Time McGraw
“Best Shot” by Jimmie Allen
“What If I Never Get Over You” by Lady A
“I Hope You’re Happy Now” by Carly Pearce and Lee Brice
“I Don’t Drink Anymore” by Jason Aldean
CHAPTER ONE
The small package with the pink ribbon arrives on a Thursday, the first week of October.
I’m at my desk at the Nashville’s Frist Art Museum when Carrie, our receptionist, sets it in front of me. “A courier service dropped this off for you two weeks ago. I’m so sorry. Apparently, the temp we had up front had stuffed it in the drawer and just remembered it.”
“Oh,” I say. “Well, no one has complained that I haven’t responded to whatever it is, so no worries.”
“It looks personal to me.” She laces her fingers together and presses her hands beneath her chin and rocks just a little. “A gift from someone special, maybe?” she asks, oh-so-coyly, but the phone panel lights up next to me, which means it’s lighting up at the front desk, as well. “Dang it,” she says, “I have to go back to my desk but I’m dying to know what’s inside that box. Please come show me.” She wiggles her eyebrows and adds, “If it’s not too personal.” She dashes out of the office.
I laugh at her silliness, and how can I not? I’ve been here for three months, and already Carrie feels like a kid sister, who big sister wants to protect. My little clone, too short not to wear heals, with dark brown hair and green eyes. Funny how thirty-two feels old compared to Carrie’s twenty-four, but then again, the past few months have aged me in ways beyond my years, as well.
As for the package, my brows dip as I study the box with the card that reads nothing but, “Allie.” That nickname, used by those close to me, certainly explains why Carrie assumes this to be a personal gift, and of course, so do I. I go by Allison on the job, but while Carrie assumes this is some kind of romantic gesture, I do not. I’m not dating anyone right now, nor have I dated any time in the recent past.
I quickly open the box to find another box inside. A long, slender velvet box with a pink ribbon.
That ribbon, symbolic of breast cancer, jolts me, and how can it not? Cancer is the beast my mother has battled these past few months, and finally, conquered. I still can’t believe this is our reality, her reality, but she’s good now, I remind myself. And she has my stepfather by her side, a man who’s both loving and loyal, a real hero fireman. I could easily return to my real dream career at the world-renowned Riptide Auction House right now, if I so pleased, but I just can’t seem to leave.
I slide the ribbon off the box and then open the lid, sucking in a breath at the sight of an expensive diamond necklace. I mean, holy wow, it’s gorgeous, the overhead lights catching on what my career at Riptide tells me to be high-quality sparkling stones. The necklace is a choker, a long strand of star-shaped diamonds, meant to grab attention. A card is taped to the inner lid that reads, “Forgive me.”
CHAPTER TWO
There are only two men that would ask me to forgive them: my father, who is a retired professional football player, and my ex, who has been my father’s agent of ten years. I also found out the hard way, that Brandon, said ex, is far more my father’s son than I am his daughter and I’m the only one of the two of us actually related. I shove aside that thought before I fall down the rabbit hole of a big ol’ bunch of yuck. Bottom line, I’m in this headspace for one reason: both Brandon and my father have proven that they believe gifts and money are replacements for honesty and love. Brandon Montgomery really is a chip off the old block, AKA my father. And I am not.
Irritated at the pinch in my chest with this idea, I shut the box, intending to send it back to whichever one of them hopes to slide back into my life. I grab the paper that was around the box to eye the return address but find none. That’s when my gaze catches on the recipient's information. It reads “Attention: Allison W,” but the address is for the powerhouse entertainment law firm a few blocks down the road. I know this because our address is 365, and theirs is 355, so we frequently get their deliveries. I quickly grab my phone and look up the firm’s reception number.
I punch the call button and listen as the line rings.
“Hawk Legal,” a female greets, the infamous Tyler Hawk being the primary founder of the firm, but there must be hundreds of attorneys on staff that don’t even get a name on the door. “How can I help you?” she asks.
“Can I speak to Allison?”
“She’s n
ot in. What can I do for you?”
“I need to speak with her directly,” I say, afraid of spreading her personal business all over her office. “I’ve received a delivery that belongs to her. We have the same name and I work a few blocks down from your building.”
“I can leave her a message,” she says, robotic, unconcerned, though I am. This is a very expensive necklace. “Or you can have it delivered here?” she asks.
I’m back to the necklace being extremely expensive when I say, “I’d rather hand deliver it. Will she be in today?” I ask.
“I really don’t know. You can try back later.”
“Right,” I say. “I’ll try her again later. Thanks.” I disconnect and set my phone aside, opening the box again to read the card. “Forgive me.”
For what, I wonder? What did someone do to the other Allison that justified a gifted necklace worth what experience tells me to be thousands of dollars? And how has this necklace sitting at our front desk for two weeks impacted that forgiveness? Concerned, I glance at the clock. It’s almost one. Maybe Allison is just at lunch. I can meet her at her office this afternoon. Decision made, I toss my half-eaten egg salad sandwich in the trash and lug my oversized, Louis Vuitton bag over my shoulder. It’s the only gift my father gave me that I kept, mainly because I received it during the one time in my life I thought I had a relationship with him. I guess, some part of me still clings to that façade.
But the bag also reminds me that expensive gifts don’t erase bad behavior, and I wonder if the other Allison has learned that lesson. Or maybe she’s about to learn it now. Or, I scold myself, the necklace sender is a good person, worthy of forgiveness. The men in my life might have been trouble, but all men are not. My stepfather has been the showcase of humble goodness in my mother’s life and has driven that point home. And as a heroic fire chief, Barry has also proven to me that power and money do not define a man, good or bad.
But character does.
And anyone with a good character knows that you can’t buy love, not even with diamonds.
CHAPTER THREE
On my way to the exit of the museum, I motion to Carrie where she sits behind the front desk, calling out, “Back in a few!”
She flings her hands in the air in exasperation, but she’ll have to wait to find out what’s in the package. I exit into a warm, rather than a hot October day, my basic black pumps that match my basic black suit dress hitting the sidewalk. I miss fall in New York, which feels like fall, not just a slight break in the heat index, but as a truckload of people singing “Friends In Low Places” passes, my lips curve. I do love the unique energy of downtown Nashville.
That song, and those happy people, are with me throughout my short walk to the Hawk Legal high-rise, waving goodbye to me as I halt to greet my destination. I laugh, and wave back at the group, before entering the luxurious lobby with fancy furniture and sculpture-like lighting hanging from the towering ceiling, feeling right at home.
Money all but sings like that busload of people outside in this place, but thanks to Riptide, I have a comfort level in such luxury that defies growing up poor with a single mom. Certainly not because of my father being a retired, two-ring Super Bowl quarterback with a restaurant empire. I barely knew him until a few years back, when he’d promised he’d become a family man.
A promise that went south quickly.
I head to the security desk where I sign-in. Apparently, Hawk Legal is not the only tenant in the building and I’m directed to the twentieth floor for reception. The elevator bank is filled with at least eight cars, and the one to the left opens. I dash inside the first empty car. I’ve just punched my floor when a man, smelling of spice in that perfect way some men do, joins me.
He reaches for the panel and lowers his hand, glancing in my direction, his light brown hair longish, but not so much so that it hides his remarkable, light blue eyes. “Seems we’re going to the same place.”
“Yes,” I say, aware of his tall stature, his well-built physique. “I guess we are.”
He smiles a charming smile, then faces forward, as do I. And good lord, I thought I liked a man in a suit, but I’ve been proven wrong. This man in denim, boots, and a stylish tan leather jacket screams masculine perfection.
The car starts to move, floors ticking by us, and the small space seems to shrink.
Elevators are truly tiny boxes where strangers crowd inside and end up ridiculously close while pretending we are not close at all. Most of the time, it’s an easy task to achieve, but not always. Not today. I’m oddly hyper-aware of me and this man alone, the scent of his earthy cologne teasing my nostrils. He smells so darn good.
Too soon, the car halts, and a long way from our destination. Anticipating a new passenger, I am both hopeful and regretful that my alone time with this stranger will soon be over. And I’m right. A stunning blonde, the kind of bombshell my car partner belongs with, joins us and does so with a blast of insanely strong perfume. She reaches for the panel and impatiently punches the tenth floor.
Choking, I step backward, as far away from the woman and against the wall as I can manage, covering my hand with my mouth. I’m choking on fumes. My God, she smells like she poured my grandmother’s sharp, tangy perfume all over herself. I loved my grandma, but I broke out in hives when I was around her from that perfume. Lord, help me, I’m going to start coughing. Please let her get off soon. And please, don’t cough, I tell myself. Don’t cough.
I can feel the man watching me, but I don’t dare look at him. I swear if my body is reminded of the hot guy nearby, it will surely betray me and force the coughing spell. Finally, a lifetime later it feels like, the car halts and the doors open oh so slowly.
The perfume factory rushes out of the car, and while her cologne lingers, the intensity shrinks by half, and air from the corridor makes a slight welcome intrusion. The minute the doors shut again, I sink into the corner of the car and sigh, my hand falling from my face. Without intending to do so, I find myself staring into the amused eyes of the man who makes denim look as delicious as chocolate.
“I was dying,” I admit.
“Agreed,” he says. “Apparently she doesn’t know she could hold up a bank with that smell.”
I laugh. “No. No, she does not, but to her credit, neither did my grandmother. I’m fairly certain it’s the same perfume.”
He leans a shoulder on the elevator, his body fully facing mine now. “Did you tell your grandmother it was strong?”
I gape at him. “Are you kidding? Never. It would have hurt her feelings. Grandma was a very sensitive woman. If you hurt her feelings, she’d refuse to cook for you.”
He laughs, a low, deep baritone, and asks, “And that would be bad, I assume?”
“Oh yes. She made cookies during the holidays and shipped them to everyone in the family. I lived for that holiday box of goodies.”
The car halts again and he pushes off the wall.
My short encounter with this man is over, a stab of disappointment filling me. Only it’s not over. I eye the number board and the elevator is on eighteen, not twenty. The doors open and a huge group is waiting to enter. And enter they do. They file in like sardines lining up in a can, and to my surprise, the man, whose name I still don’t know, steps in closer to me. Really close, as there is no room in the car. Suddenly he’s right in front of me and someone shoves him forward. He catches himself on the wall above my head.
“Sorry about this,” he says softly, and I swear his eyes are warm with mischief. “I didn’t want to shove you into the wall. This seemed the best solution.”
He has, in fact, protected me from the crush of way too many people in one tiny elevator. “Thank you,” I say softly, wondering how he’d react if he knew this is the closest I’ve been to a man in just shy of two years. Or if I told him that he smells better up close than far away. Or if my hands accidentally on purpose settled on what appears to be an impressive chest? The temptation is real, but that would be highly inappropriate.
He didn’t place himself in front of me to seduce me, but rather protect me after being shoved. I ball my fingers into my palms by my sides, forcing them to stay right where they are.
The car halts and someone screams out, “Why are we on twenty? We’re going down, people.”
“That’s us!” my hero stranger calls out, lifting one hand in the air. “We need off.”
“Off!” Someone else shouts. “Everyone off. Give them space.”
“Off!” Another shouts, “Off now.”
Bodies move out of our personal space and the stranger clears a path for me, motioning me forward. I hurry into the hallway, the group of people, all with badges on that seem to indicate they’re part of a business event, all around me. I find myself wanting to wait on the man, but several of the people from the elevator are between our exit now. They step aside just as a gorgeous blonde in a red dress and black heels grabs the stranger’s arm. It’s a familiar, intimate touch, not that of a business acquaintance. “Thank God, you’re here,” she gushes. “Let’s go get a drink. We’re both going to need one to talk about this contract.”
He turns to her, and while his look is not doting or loving, the contract topic bringing business back into the mix, I am the awkward third wheel here. I’m just an elevator dalliance, meaningless and short, a whisper in a dark night never heard. Embarrassed that I’d thought it might lead to something more, I hurry away and enter the open double doors of Hawk Legal. My little flirtation in the elevator is over, if it was even a flirtation at all. I don’t really know what it was or was not. It’s over. As if proving that point to myself, I step to the reception desk, and despite my silent plea with myself not to, I glance behind me. The man and his blonde goddess are gone.
CHAPTER FOUR
“I’m here to see Allison, please,” I say when the receptionist finally offers me her full attention.
“And you are?” she queries.
“Also Allison,” I reply, offering her my card, not the card for the local art museum but rather my card for Riptide, which I know will garner respect. “Allison Wright.”