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  Why did he make her forget logic?

  Somehow, she had to walk away. Tonight had to be their last night together. His grip tightened on her hand as if he read her thoughts and rejected them. She looked up at him. “It’ll work out, Lauren,” he said softly.

  If only that were true.

  If only.

  * * * * *

  Matt quite literally pulled Lauren into his apartment.

  This wasn’t how he had planned things. He wanted her to want to be here. In all his years as a bachelor, he had never felt alone. The thought of Lauren rejecting him made him that and more.

  He didn’t like it.

  Helping her shrug out of her coat, he kissed her neck, and breathed in her soft, feminine scent. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said, trying to wear down the barrier so clearly present between them.

  Turning to look at him, Lauren fixed him in a probing stare. “Why am I here, Matt? And don’t say it’s because the hotel room was booked. You could have gotten it back.”

  Her directness shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did. He touched her cheek, just the lightest of touches. “Because I want you here.”

  He didn’t give her time to respond, taking her purse from her hand and moving to the closet. Giving her a minute to absorb his words. A strategy that didn’t seem to work in his favor. When he turned back to her, Lauren’s only movement had been to hug herself. The closed body language said the world to him.

  He eased up behind her, pulling her against his chest, and wrapping his arms around her waist. Slowly, she relaxed against him. He nuzzled her ear and then kissed her neck. “Are you hungry?”

  “A little.”

  He turned her to face him. “How about we order from that Chinese place we went to with Tyler?”

  Her hands settled on his chest. “That sounds good.”

  Taking her hand, he led her to the kitchen, and motioned to a barstool. While she settled into a seat, he poured her a glass of wine. She accepted it with a murmured thank you and took a sip.

  He filled his glass and then reached for the phone. “Do you want the same thing you had at lunch or something different?”

  She looked surprised. “You remember what I had at lunch?”

  How could she think differently? “I remember everything where you’re concerned.”

  A pregnant silence followed. Then, “The same would be great.”

  He placed the order, aware of her eyes on him, searching for his motives, he was certain. When he hung up the phone, he walked to her, took her glass from her hand, and set it on the bar. “I want to kiss you, Lauren.”

  She laughed. Short. Breathless. Her eyes flashed with emotion. Maybe a hint of panic. “You’ve never announced your desires before acting on them in the past.”

  “That’s because this is different,” he said in a low voice. “I want to kiss you. Not some unknown man who is a part of some secret fantasy. Me, Matt Monroe, I want to kiss you.”

  One of Matt’s hands slid around the back of Lauren’s neck. His senses were alive with anticipation. His body raw with need. Her lips, sensual and full, trembled. All he wanted to do was taste her. To claim her and make love to her. To kiss her with all the fire he felt inside. But he needed her approval. It was time to see what really existed between them. Their fantasy had been halted the moment Greg had made that comment to Lauren. They both knew they couldn’t hide forever.

  Easing closer, he slid Lauren’s knees to the side, resisting the urge to push them apart. Knowing if he did, he might just lose his mind and decide to fuck her and talk later. A primal urge to take her hardened his cock.

  “Lauren?” he asked, lowering his mouth to linger just above hers. Their breath mingled, warm and intimate, building the burn.

  “Matt—”

  “Yes or no?” he pressed, ready to kiss her. Not wanting to wait.

  “Yes,” she whispered, lashes fluttering.

  And that was all Matt needed to act. His lips brushed hers and they both sucked in a breath. The air around them seemed to sizzle. As many times as Matt had made love to her, kissing her could still send flames shooting through his blood. Yet, he fought the force of their attraction. Tonight, he wanted to go slow. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to talk to her.

  He wanted to know what they could, really, truly be together. Which was exactly why he had decided to kidnap her for the entire weekend. It was time to step beyond the physical. He was willing to put it all on the line. Then, maybe, just maybe, Lauren would do the same.

  Kissing her gently, Matt probed her mouth with slow, deliberate strokes. Savoring the woman and her unique flavor. Her arms slid around his neck, and he felt her shiver. He stepped closer, their bodies melting together as he settled both hands on her waist. And what he felt went way beyond the physical. He knew in that moment he was falling in love. Hell, he’d probably known from the first moment he’d set eyes on her.

  Lauren had always been about more than sex.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Lauren’s head was swimming with the delicious aroma of Matt, so close, so gentle, and so…tender. And she knew she was in trouble. This man made her feel deep inside. If she was honest with herself, from the moment he had looked at her across that bar, she had felt him in her heart. Deep in her soul.

  Forcing her mouth from his, she leaned back, and stared into his eyes. What she saw there took her breath away. Inwardly, she shook herself. Was that love staring back at her? No. She rejected the thought with a breath. Passion. That’s what she saw. Nothing more. The wrong thing to be risking her entire career and future over. So why couldn’t she make herself look away?

  And why did her chest squeeze and her stomach flutter?

  Over and over, in her head, she willed herself to get up. To leave. To say goodnight. But she didn’t. Instead, a new voice surfaced… One more forgiving of the moment. One that said tomorrow she would face real life. Tomorrow she would end this.

  Matt’s palm settled on her cheek. “What are you thinking?”

  She’d come to know that question from him. He asked it often. Always she avoided a direct answer.

  Now was no different. “What are you thinking?” she countered.

  The corners of his mouth lifted. Unlike her, he didn’t hesitate to respond. “How much I enjoy being with you. How much I always hate it when our time together ends.”

  She laughed, but without humor, averting her gaze. “Great sex will do that to a person.”

  He used two fingers to capture her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t do that. Don’t make us seem cheap.”

  Her lips trembled despite her best effort to seem unaffected by his words. She didn’t want to think about sex or love or…any of this. She just wanted to feel. “Kiss me again.”

  And he did. He kissed her and kissed her. A slow, sensual play of tongue against tongue. Yet…he kept it from deepening to a full-body impact. From turning into an act of sex. He gave her the soft, sweet, taste of seduction but held back from total intimacy. It confused her and made her want to take control. She found herself easing toward the edge of the chair, nipples tingling with the need to be touched. Thighs aching with the gathering moisture of her arousal.

  Then, the doorbell rang and the moment was gone. Matt pulled his lips from hers. “The food,” he whispered.

  She nodded. “Right. Food.”

  He ran his finger over her bottom lip, wiping away the moisture there. “Grab the wine and let’s eat in the living room.” And then he was gone, leaving to stare after him and wonder exactly what was going on.

  For several seconds, she simply sat there. Lauren knew she shouldn’t be here. Right. She shouldn’t be here. The words repeated in her head. Yet, still she found herself pushing to her feet and reaching for the glasses. Moments later, she walked into the other room. She found Matt busying himself with the food, setting it out on the coffee table. He sat down on the floor and patted the ground next to him.

  Matt watched Laure
n, noting the hesitation in her eyes but he wasn’t about to back down. He watched her walk toward him, the soft sway of her curvy hips enticing his eyes. Stirring his lust. But, tonight was the real thing not a fantasy. There was far more than his body alive with her presence.

  Their hotel visits had never included food or serious conversation. Not that he hadn’t tried to get to know her. Every attempt had been smashed. He would order snacks from room service, but they rarely ate much. Conversation had been after-sex pillow talk. Yet, he was willing to bet that he’d pulled more from her in the brief encounters than she realized.

  She let her guard down during those times, telling him her likes and dislikes. He knew about how she had always wanted a dog, never had a best friend until she was an adult, and how much she loved chocolate, crème-filled cookies. And he loved each and every one of those things.

  He’d already hinted about tonight being different. Enough that she knew the game was over. “It smells good,” she said, kicking off her shoes, and then sitting on the floor beside him. And as he expected, she tucked her legs to the side, and tugged on her skirt. Always a lady. She could be so sexy and sensual, yet, so prim and proper.

  The combination was one he found adorable.

  “Um,” he said. “It smells better than good. I’m hungrier than I realized.” He took a bite of an egg roll. “So, Tyler said your mom’s a teacher?”

  “Was,” Lauren said lifting the top off her paper bowl. “Cancer made teaching difficult. She’s never returned to full strength. They say she will but it’s been a year. I don’t think it’s going to happen.”

  “And you single-handedly took care of her.”

  She shrugged. “I did what anyone would have done. I love my mom.” Averting her gaze Lauren took a bite of her food.

  “You put your career on hold from what I’ve gathered?”

  Lauren shrugged. “Waited tables, took six years to finish college. I brought her to live with me.”

  Her tone was matter-of-fact, but Matt sensed she felt anything but. “And now?” he asked looking at her over his wineglass as he took a drink.

  Lauren picked at her food, and avoided eye contact. “She moved in with a close friend, who happens to be a nurse. But they live in my building. It helps me to know I’m near if she needs me.”

  “And now you’re starting your life all over again.”

  She looked up at him. “Yes,” she said. “Which is why I don’t want to screw it up.”

  He set his glass down, shifting so he faced her. She kept her side profile. “And you think sleeping with me is going to do that,” Matt said.

  “Maybe,” she said, averting her gaze to the table.

  Matt’s chest tightened at her words. Needing to comfort her, to offer reassurance, he ran his hand down her hair. “I won’t let that happen. You have my word.”

  She turned her head and fixed him in a steady stare. “I know you wouldn’t intend to, but other people’s actions can’t always be controlled.” She was referring to people like Greg and they both knew it. “Besides, I’ve made my choices, and I take responsibility for what I do.”

  Each day, each hour, each word that passed between them only made him respect her all the more. It suddenly felt important that she know how special she’d become to him. “I never bring women to my home.”

  She tilted her head to study him, her eyes holding a question.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he said, giving her a small smile. “I brought you here the first night I met you. Even then, I knew you were different.” His voice softened. “And you are, Lauren.”

  She was silent so long it was unnerving. Then, she pushed to her feet and walked across the room, stopping in front of the balcony window. With her back to him, she’d shut him out. He stood up and followed her to the window. Standing behind her, he gently touched her arm. Lauren whirled and faced him. “Sometimes I get so mad at you Matt.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What?”

  “This isn’t what this is supposed to be like. The price is too high. Why can’t you just leave things alone?”

  Fear motivated her words, he had no doubt. “Sometimes the reward is greater than the risk. You just have to be willing to reach out and take it.” He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms. She needed the space to decide about their relationship on her own. It hurt to think about her turning away from him, but he had to give her the space to do it.

  “We can’t go on the way we have. We both know this. But Lauren, I can’t walk away without seeing what is here.” He paused, and inhaled a slow breath. Contemplating his next move. “This is your decision. It always has been. The minute you want to stop, we stop. Tell me to take you home and I will.”

  She stared at him, her chest rising and falling in a slow but heavy fashion. As if each intake of air was meant to cleanse or perhaps calm. An array of emotions crossed her face. But when Matt was certain she would run, she surprised him. “The food’s getting cold.”

  A smile turned up the corners of his mouth as he held his hand out to her. “Then, by all means, let’s eat.”

  With only a slight hesitation, her hand slid into his. “Yes, let’s.”

  Once they were seated, they ate in silence for a bit, both deep in thought. After some careful consideration, he knew he treaded dangerous water. Matt decided he had to keep pushing. “Do you remember your father at all?”

  She sat down her fork and turned her full attention to the question. “No,” Lauren said thoughtfully. “I wish I did. Pictures and my mom’s stories are the only memories I have.”

  “I understand,” he said. “I’m adopted.”

  “You’re kidding,” she said, eyes going wide.

  “I never knew my real parents. I have wonderful parents and a sister I’m close to.”

  “Is she adopted as well?” Lauren asked.

  “Nope. They say once a couple adopts they get pregnant. And sure enough, that’s what happened.”

  “Wow. I’ve never known anyone adopted.”

  He laughed and tapped her under the chin with his finger. “You make it sound like a disease.”

  Lauren blushed. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.“

  “It’s okay,” he said tossing his napkin on his plate and pushing his plate to the side. “I’m used to it.”

  “Why is your name different than the business name? Aren’t your parents the owners of the firm?”

  “The business originated from my mother’s side of the family. Carlson is her family name.” They had something else in common Lauren didn’t know. Matt reached out and took Lauren’s hand. “My mother died of cancer several years ago.”

  Shock filled her features and her response came slow. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was low. “That must have been incredibly difficult.”

  “It was. It still is sometimes. My father has never quite been the same since.” He lost himself in thoughts of his mother for a moment. “She had this game she played with us. Want to try it?”

  Lauren laughed. “I don’t know. I’ve never been very good at games.”

  “This one is easy.” Matt pushed the table so that they had more room. Leaning against the couch, they faced each other. “Okay, this is how it works,” Matt said. “It’s the question game.”

  “The question game,” Lauren said. “Okay. Got it. I hope. Whatever that is.”

  “What’s your favorite food?” he asked.

  “You know the answer.”

  “Pizza,” Matt said. “Right?”

  “Yes. What’s yours?”

  “You know the answer,” he said and winked.

  “Pizza,” she said with a smile”

  “Right. Now your turn. Ask a question.”

  “Do you like scary movies?”

  “No, hate them. You?”

  “Hate them,” Lauren agreed.

  They went back and forth for fifteen minutes, laughing and teasing each other, and learning about one another. With each que
stion, Matt watched Lauren relax a bit more. “Favorite vacation spot,” he asked.

  Lauren’s expression clouded and she stiffened. “I don’t have one.”

  Matt gave her a probing stare. “So maybe one day I can take you to mine. Want to know where that would be?”

  “No.” She laughed but not with humor. “I’ll stay in my grounded, not-so-fancy world, and leave fancy vacations to you.”

  Clearly he’d touched a sore spot. Most women would jump on a chance for a free trip. Lauren seemed offended. He reached out and took her hand. “As hard as you work, you will be choosing your own vacation spot very soon.” He stared into her eyes, making sure she saw the admiration he felt for her. “Because you earned it.”

  She swallowed and then nodded. “Thank you,” Lauren said softly.

  “Do me a favor. Dare to dream. What you can image you can make real. Close your eyes and let me describe my favorite spot.”

  He smiled when she did as he said. For long minutes, he told her about St. Thomas, a tropical getaway of pure relaxation he longed to revisit. When he finished and refilled their wineglasses, he answered all kinds of questions she had about traveling. It seemed once she allowed herself to dream she went all the way. He liked seeing her relax. Even sensed how much she needed to ease up on herself and live a little.

  Not that many didn’t say that about him, but he at least enjoyed some of life’s luxuries. Lauren hadn’t. A part of him longed to give those things to her. It was a crazy thought, but one that rolled around inside him and grew more powerful.

  Lauren started to get up. “I need to use the bathroom,” she explained.

  “Do you remember where it’s at?”

  And just like that, she stiffened, withdrawing again. “You know I do.”

  Before he could ask why that was a bad thing, she stood and walked away. Damn. All that progress and now she’d completely clammed up again. He considered his actions for all of two seconds. Then, Matt was on his feet. A man had to do what he had to do. It appeared he needed to make love to her until she finally gave herself to him. Mind and body. Because, after tonight, he knew…he wanted it all.