What If I Never Read online

  “Don’t be a fool. This is not about his ego. It’s about your safety.”

  “And yet you brought me here.”

  “To help him,” he counters.

  “You drove him to this.”

  “I thought he was over this shit four years ago when I cleaned up his mess. Obviously, I was wrong.”

  Guilt stabs at me. He wasn’t wrong. I did this. I pushed Dash to this. I drove him to this.

  “Stop,” he orders and my gaze snaps back to Tyler as he adds, “I see what you’re doing. I read it in your face, woman. And just stop. Stop blaming yourself. You didn’t push him to this. I told you before and I’ll tell you now: he’s fucked up.”

  “So am I,” I say. “And so are you. Don’t deny that truth, Tyler. Stop judging him.” I glance at my phone and grimace in defeat. “The driver cancelled.”

  “Can I take you home now?”

  “Fine,” I say. “Yes, please just get me out of here.”

  CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN

  The engine to Tyler’s fancy sports car is not quiet, roaring in the dark of night, while my emotions scream into the otherwise silent car. But I do not. I sit there next to Tyler, fingers curled in my lap and I am in my head, reliving Dash in that ring, staring at me, letting that monster of a man punish him. I’d been terrified for him and yet it was almost as if that’s what he wanted, for me to watch him get beaten. And then after the fight, when he’d come to stand in front of me.

  Go home, Allie.

  Those words, so coldly spoken, echo in my head.

  “You okay?” Tyler asks.

  No, I think. No, I am not okay, but that’s not Tyler’s problem, and it’s not really even his creation. I did this. I pushed Dash over the edge. I walked out on him tonight. “I’m angry with you, Tyler,” I say, “really angry, but I don’t even have enough objectivity to know if that’s a fair emotion. And I won’t tonight. Does Bella know about his fighting?”

  “She doesn’t. He doesn’t want her to know. Not only did she have something big for her own career going on tonight that Dash would not want to fuck up, she lost one brother already.” He glances over at me. “And right now, based on what I saw tonight, you’re the person emotionally connected to Dash. Maybe the only person.”

  My hand goes to my necklace, the sweet gift from Dash, that meant so much to me. I was selfish and self-absorbed tonight. I didn’t let myself see what was in front of me, which was Dash. In the end, Tyler protected Bella, as Dash would have wanted, and used me, when he really had no other choice. But I didn’t protect Dash.

  “You were friends,” I say and it’s not a question. Yes, he has a business interest in Dash, but no one can punch someone’s buttons the way Tyler punched Dash’s button tonight, without knowing them well.

  “We were,” he says. “On some level, we still are.”

  I’d argue that point, but I think I might be wrong. I don’t ask what happened between them. There is much I should have heard from Dash when he was ready, that came to me without his consent.

  Tyler doesn’t fill in any blanks, and I don’t think that’s because he’s respecting Dash’s privacy, either. He has his own reasons, and that’s fine. I get it. This is his private story, just as it’s Dash’s.

  We arrive at my house, which is really his house, and Tyler pulls into the driveway and kills the engine. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay alone?”

  “No,” I say. “No, I’m not, but neither is he.” I glance over at him. “If you talk to him—”

  “I’ll call you.”

  I nod and exit the car, walking to the door. Once I have it open, I wave at Tyler and enter. I lock up and set the alarm, and lean on the door. The house feels empty and so do I. I stand there, replaying the entire night, and I don’t know how much time passes. I tell myself to go to bed, but I know I will never sleep. I sit down on the bed and pull off my boots, lying back on the mattress.

  Go home, Allie.

  Hearing Dash’s voice in my head, I sit up and sigh. I need to calm my nerves. I grab my phone and I want to call Dash, but I know he won’t answer. And I know I won’t know what to even say. Texting is a coward’s answer, but it’s the answer I choose. But my words, my words are brave. I want to see you. I need to see you. Please. I’m sorry I left. I was just scared, Dash. I’m scared of how much you mean to me.

  Phone in hand, I can’t just stare at it. I stand up and head through the house and down to the wine cellar. I’ll pick a bottle and to hell with how expensive it is. I need help sleeping. I need to calm down. Once I’m down there, I start surveying the bottles, in between eyeing my messages that don’t change. I’m reading a label when there’s a sound upstairs. I freeze, holding my breath, telling myself it’s just the house settling, but there it is again. A creak of the floorboard. I gently and quietly slide the bottle back into place. Tyler has the alarm code. It has to be Tyler. But coming in like this, that just doesn’t feel like something he’d do.

  Hands trembling, I walk to the light switch and flip it off and then head to a corner, and squat down. I dial Tyler. The call fails. Of course, it does. I’m in the cellar. I try another three times and finally it goes through. The minute Tyler answers I say, “Where are you?”

  “At Dash’s trying to get him to answer the door. Have you talked to him?”

  My heart leaps and I disconnect, trying to use the signal I have when I have it. I dial Dash. He doesn’t answer. Of course not. I text him: Just please tell me if you’re here. Are you in the house? Dash?

  My phone rings in my hand and fails, but the sound, the ring, was a mistake. I quickly put my phone on silent. It rings again with Dash’s number. I answer with, “Please tell me you’re in the house?”

  “No. I’m not in the house, Allie. Is someone there? What is—”

  There’s another creak of the floor. Someone is walking around now. That’s it, I’m not emotional and paranoid. I try 911. The call failed. I try again. The 911 operator answers and the call drops. The light from upstairs goes dark. I hold my breath, waiting for what comes next.

  THE END…FOR NOW

  Fear not! The next book, BECAUSE I CAN, will be out very soon and is up for pre-order now! Get it here: https://www.lisareneejones.com/necklace-trilogy.html

  ***

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  EXCERPT FROM THE WALKER SECURITY: ADRIAN TRILOGY

  I exit the bathroom and halt to find him standing in the doorway, his hands on either side of the doorframe. “What are you doing?

  “This,” he says, and suddenly, his hands are on my waist, and he’s walked me back into the bathroom.

  Before I know what’s happening, he’s kicked the door shut, and his fingers are diving into my hair. “Kissing you, because I can’t fucking help myself. And because you might not ever let me do it again. That is unless you object?”

  That’s the part that really gets me. The “unless I object,” the way he manages to be all alpha and demanding and still ask. Well, and the part where he can’t fucking help himself.

  I press to my toes and the minute my mouth meets his, his crashes over mine, his tongue doing a wicked lick that I feel in every part of me. And I don’t know what I taste like to him, but he is temptation with a hint of tequila, demand, and desire. His hands slide up my back, fingers splayed between my shoulder blades, his hard body pressed to mine, seducing me in every possible way.

  I moan with the feel of him and his lips part from mine, lingering there a moment before he says, “Obviously, someone needs to protect you from me,” he says. “Like me.” And then to my shock, he releases me and leaves. The bathroom door is open and closed before I
know what’s happened. And once again, I have no idea if or when I will ever see him again.

  FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ADRIAN TRILOGY HERE:

  https://www.lisareneejones.com/walker-security-adrians-trilogy.html

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  THE BRILLIANCE TRILOGY

  It all started with a note, just a simple note handwritten by a woman I didn't know, never even met. But in that note is perhaps every answer to every question I've ever had in my life. And because of that note, I look for her but find him. I'm drawn to his passion, his talent, a darkness in him that somehow becomes my light, my life. Kace August is rich, powerful, a rock star of violins, a man who is all tattoos, leather, good looks, and talent. He has a wickedly sweet ability to play the violin, seducing audiences worldwide. Now, he’s seducing me. I know he has secrets. I don't care. Because you see, I have secrets, too.

  I’m not Aria Alard, as he believes. I’m Aria Stradivari, daughter to Alessandro Stradivari, a musician born from the same blood as the man who created the famous Stradivarius violin. I am as rare as the mere 650 instruments my ancestors created. Instruments worth millions. 650 masterpieces, the brilliance unmatched. 650 reasons to kill. 650 reasons to hide. One reason not to: him.

  FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE BRILLIANCE TRILOGY HERE:

  https://www.lisareneejones.com/brilliance-trilogy.html

  GET A FREE COPY OF BOOK ONE HERE:

  https://claims.prolificworks.com/free/FTpzSTRe

  THE LILAH LOVE SERIES

  As an FBI profiler, it’s Lilah Love’s job to think like a killer. And she is very good at her job. When a series of murders surface—the victims all stripped naked and shot in the head—Lilah’s instincts tell her it’s the work of an assassin, not a serial killer. But when the case takes her back to her hometown in the Hamptons and a mysterious but unmistakable connection to her own life, all her assumptions are shaken to the core.

  Thrust into a troubled past she’s tried to shut the door on, Lilah’s back in the town where her father is mayor, her brother is police chief, and she has an intimate history with the local crime lord’s son, Kane Mendez. The two share a devastating secret, and only Kane understands Lilah’s own darkest impulses. As more corpses surface, so does a series of anonymous notes to Lilah, threatening to expose her. Is the killer someone in her own circle? And is she the next target?

  FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE LILAH LOVE SERIES HERE:

  https://www.lisareneejonesthrillers.com/the-lilah-love-series.html

  ALSO BY LISA RENEE JONES

  THE INSIDE OUT SERIES

  If I Were You

  Being Me

  Revealing Us

  His Secrets*

  Rebecca’s Lost Journals

  The Master Undone*

  My Hunger*

  No In Between

  My Control*

  I Belong to You

  All of Me*

  THE SECRET LIFE OF AMY BENSEN

  Escaping Reality

  Infinite Possibilities

  Forsaken

  Unbroken*

  CARELESS WHISPERS

  Denial

  Demand

  Surrender

  WHITE LIES

  Provocative

  Shameless

  TALL, DARK & DEADLY

  Hot Secrets

  Dangerous Secrets

  Beneath the Secrets

  WALKER SECURITY

  Deep Under

  Pulled Under

  Falling Under

  LILAH LOVE

  Murder Notes

  Murder Girl

  Love Me Dead

  Love Kills

  Bloody Vows

  Bloody Love

  Happy Death Day

  The Party’s Over

  DIRTY RICH

  Dirty Rich One Night Stand

  Dirty Rich Cinderella Story

  Dirty Rich Obsession

  Dirty Rich Betrayal

  Dirty Rich Cinderella Story: Ever After

  Dirty Rich One Night Stand: Two Years Later

  Dirty Rich Obsession: All Mine

  Dirty Rich Secrets

  Dirty Rich Betrayal: Love Me Forever

  THE FILTHY TRILOGY

  The Bastard

  The Princess

  The Empire

  THE NAKED TRILOGY

  One Man

  One Woman

  Two Together

  THE SAVAGE SERIES

  Savage Hunger

  Savage Burn

  Savage Love

  Savage Ending

  THE BRILLIANCE TRILOGY

  A Reckless Note

  A Wicked Song

  A Sinful Encore

  ADRIAN’S TRILOGY

  When He’s Dirty

  When He’s Bad

  When He’s Wild

  NECKLACE TRILOGY

  What If I Never?

  Because I Can (December 2021)

  When I Say Yes (February 2022)

  *eBook only

  ABOUT LISA RENEE JONES

  New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Lisa Renee Jones writes dark, edgy fiction including the highly acclaimed Inside Out series and the crime thriller The Poet. Suzanne Todd (producer of Alice in Wonderland and Bad Moms) on the Inside Out series: Lisa has created a beautiful, complicated, and sensual world that is filled with intrigue and suspense.

  Prior to publishing, Lisa owned a multi-state staffing agency that was recognized many times by The Austin Business Journal and also praised by the Dallas Women’s Magazine. In 1998 Lisa was listed as the #7 growing women-owned business in Entrepreneur Magazine. She lives in Colorado with her husband, a cat that talks too much, and a Golden Retriever who is afraid of trash bags.